AHA Moments

SEPTEMBER BRUNCH: Setting Aside Our Security Blankets

30 September 2020 , , Philia
Philia launched the Peer-to-Peer Coaching Self-Development Study
The Philia method is a tool that empowers women to support each other towards achieving their goals while being part of a global community
SEPTEMBER BRUNCH: Setting Aside Our Security Blankets

Our September topic for the Women’s Empowerment Brunches around the globe was centered around ‘Security’: Setting aside our security blankets; Why do we crave security? What are the benefits of ‘staying put’ in a rapidly changing world?; Why is it important to come out from under our security blankets and try new things?; How do we leave our comfort zone without getting overwhelmed?; How can we help others do this?.

These monthly conversations are based on the research-based e-course, our self-developed methodology of peer to peer coaching. By joining the Philia journey with your peer, who could be a friend or a Philia-made match, you will discover new levels of support and accountability and your growth will inspire everyone around you to see their goals as totally attainable. September topic falls into the category of ‘Powerful You’.

As expected, the discussions were intense and highly revealing. Everyone has a security blanket and has wondered at least once in life how to go about it in a healthy way. In and out of the blanket is a movement we do as part of maintaining a life balance that suits our needs for progress while nourishing our deep necessity for self-care. 

We extracted a few insights which we find relevant to share as they have the power to shape our understanding of ‘security’. We crave security because we want to feel grounded which in turn gives us a better grip on the realities of our lives. We make decisions easier when we feel secure. There is empowerment in security, but it can be easily overdone. Too much time spent in complete security blocks our growth and makes us more reluctant to try new things.

While we are under the security blanket it is good to assess our goals in life and set some new priorities which are motivating enough to kick us out of our comfort zone and back into the world of exploration, into the unknown where all discoveries are patiently waiting for our curiosity. When we don’t know what to do, when the fog of confusion overtakes our lives, we must take some time to rethink our strategies and maybe change some mechanisms we’ve been perpetuating. When we don’t know what to do, we should wait, practice stillness and cultivate patience until we do know, and when we know we should act without delay. 

It’s always important to remember that we humans have a tendency to crave what we don’t have. When we are too secure we crave adventure, when we are too adventurous, we crave security. The pendulum is always swinging in our busy modern lives and to train ourselves to know when to stop and when to move is the best we can do in order to achieve the lives we desire. 

If we stay put for too long, we lose opportunities. If we let our boundaries down too much, we risk getting too influenced by others and begin to compare ourselves to those who shouldn’t necessarily serve us as models. We only need to compare ourselves to who we were yesterday and trace our small progressions, those little important everyday steps, which take us the furthest. The important part is to try and if we fail, we shall see later, but the self-gratitude which comes from trying has the power to eventually turn any failure into a valuable lesson. Keep trying and keep growing into the beauty you already are. 


Written by Cristina Burduja

Cristina is a writer and independent journalist currently residing in Berlin. At Philia she is Content Manager and Press Officer.