The goal of this programme is neither to create a perfect life, nor to have the perfect relationship, the perfect career or the perfect body. It is rather about recognising that life is a colourful journey that we are on and that it brings to us many unforeseen circumstances. Some of these circumstances feel elating, are beautiful, uplifting and amazing. Others are depressing, sad, devastating and feel horrible. The point is that this journey will never end until we die. Though, despite these changing situations we find ourselves in, this online course shows us that we must be the directors, actors and the audience of our own lives. We need to strive to be all of these things at the same time. What does that mean?
First and foremost, you are not a bystander. You are it! You are in charge.
If you imagine your life as a theatre house then there are three protagonists present: a director giving directions, an actor acting on the directions and an audience observing the play and judging if they like it or not. The Philia course strengthens all of these voices inside of you.
The Philia course helps you to determine the direction of your life, as the inner director of your life. Every time you speak to your accountability partner during the coaching sessions, your directors meet. The directors each create film scripts that incorporate specific outcomes that the directors deem worthy to put on the stage of your lives. You may perceive the directions like a scavenger hunt. A script never reflects the ultimate output. It only reflects a portion of your reality, but it gives your inner actor guidance. There is always room for improvisation and creativity. So as the director of your life together with your peer coaching partner: You set goals. You set intentions when you reach barriers. You make plans. You make wish lists, a way of visualising your life. The clearer your vision is the easier it will be for your inner actor to act upon your dreams.
Once your inner actor gets handed the vision that your inner director has for your life, your actor is in charge of acting upon it. Keep in mind that “having an idea” of who to be is not enough. You need to play an active part in your own life and you need to actually be all the things or do the things that your director inspires you to do. The director inside of you tells you what to act out, where to go, what to do, gives you a vision, a purpose and a mission. Though, the actor inside of you must take action. The actor gets direction from the inner director and moves through real life. By doing that, the actor reaches unforeseen circumstances, meets new people and bumps into all kinds of new situations while constantly trying to stay on track and reaching the goals set out by the inner director.
The audience inside of you is observing what is going on. This happens basically while you go through life and when you fill in your progress sheets each week before your coaching call with your friend. In case you write morning pages or a diary, you might even have more opportunities to connect to your inner audience and contemplate upon your progress. Whenever you do any of these activities, you are in tune with the audience of your life. You reflect on the past week. What were your successes? What were your barriers? Did the actor inside of you act on the directions that the director gave to her? How did seeing your actor make you as the audience feel? How did it feel to see the actor move towards certain goals? Did it feel natural? Did it feel unnatural? Did it feel staged? Did it feel genuine? We want you to see your audience like an audience at the cinema. Throughout the week you give your inner actor time. You assess the progress she makes but you do not interfere too much. You simply observe. You simply take in all of the experiences. The difficult part is not to get carried away. This means that you need to realise that you are watching a film. The audience oftentimes feels like they are also the actor. But they are not. They are not on stage. They cannot act in adversity and that is crucial to realise. The goal of the audience is to inform the director on the performance of the actor and whether certain goals are attainable or even desirable.
Establishing an inner Dialogue
What happens when these three internal dialogues keep taking place week by week with your girlfriend as your sparring partner? You become more and more in charge of your own life. These are the three components that make up a self-determined life: setting a clear direction, acting upon it and observing the way it feels to move towards your dreams. When they act in harmony you can handle anything and everything because on the one hand you always have a sense of direction, yet you are flexible enough to realise when you need to change course with a strong sparring partner in the background.
So, what you can expect from this programme?
You accept life with its many challenges and realise that there is nothing that you (and your friend) cannot handle.
You understand that living a fulfilled life does not mean that your life is free from challenges. It means that you have tools and skills to handle challenges. This is the mindset that we want you to have.
You recognise that you are the director of your life, determining the direction you want your actor to move towards.
You are the actor in your life, who is consciously hustling towards reaching the goals set by your inner director.
You are the audience that assesses the way your actor deals with life’s challenges and if she is on its natural path or not.
You gain a partner in crime, as both, you and your friend learn how to incorporate the tools that the Philia Programme offers to the two of you.